r/ukraine Apr 29 '22 Silver 3 Helpful 3 Wholesome 8 Take My Power 1

Volodymyr Zelensky refused to be evacuated from Kyiv as Russian hitmen parachuted into capital News

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2022/04/28/volodymyr-zelensky-refused-evacuated-kyiv-even-russian-hit-men/
13.4k Upvotes

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u/TantanBXL Apr 29 '22 Silver Helpful Starry

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u/Salty_Competition_84 Australia Apr 29 '22

thanks

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u/zelcher Apr 29 '22

That was a great read, thanks for sharing

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u/Darth_Monday Apr 29 '22

Great articles, really appreciate the links

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u/fiddle_time Apr 29 '22

“You’re a symbol. You need to act the way a head of state must act”.

Wow. What more can be added to that…

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u/123supreme123 Apr 29 '22 Silver

It's "funny" that russia already had pre-written news articles that he fled the capitol with his tail between his legs. I still remember his message to the people that night after the invasion.
"We are still here"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgCNKhtZYks

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u/RoosterTheReal Apr 29 '22

And this dude was an actor? I’m glad he chose another path.

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u/MrTsukuda Apr 29 '22 Helpful Wholesome hehehehe Starry

Comedian even! And he continues to be, by making a complete joke out of of Russia!

317

u/Rasples Apr 29 '22

This war is going to go down in all of human history as "that time a comedian literally made a joke out of Russia".

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u/ras_al_ghul3 Apr 29 '22 Take My Energy

I know it’s normal to trivialise comedians as a laughing stock kind of thing. However many are some of the most intelligent and emotionally in tune people of society. Making large number of people laugh you have to be incredibly talented ,intelligent and grounded

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u/South-Read5492 Apr 29 '22

Exactly. Law and Legal practice can be boring/intense. Intelligent people can wear many hats.

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u/Acceptable-Hope- Apr 29 '22

He also has a university degree in law funnily enough :) so yeah, he’s pretty clever in many ways!

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u/MrTsukuda Apr 29 '22

Absolutely! Also, it feels a bit disingenuous to reduce Zelensky to just "Comedian", as he seems to be doing damn fine as both a politician and a leader. People can be more and do more than one thing, and still do them well.

Was just a bit of a long footnote for the joke.

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u/Hanekem Apr 29 '22

this is true, what one can say in jest, sometimes can't be said in seriousness, due to the winds of the times. Thus, a comedian can discuss topics ands issues that otherwise would be impossible to talk about.

This has been true as far back as court jesters.

Mind, not always and sometimes you have folks that trying to be edgy ending up cutting themselves.

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u/PurpleCollarAndCuffs Apr 29 '22

Paddington Bear made a joke out of Russia. Warms my cold, bitter gen X heart!

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u/KeepingItSFW Apr 29 '22 edited Apr 29 '22

That’s the role that turned him into a stone cold badass with balls of steel. In another timeline he didn’t do Paddington and he evacuated the country the first day of war

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u/RoosterTheReal Apr 29 '22

lol true Russia is the punchline in a sad pathetic joke

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u/Ecuatoriano Apr 29 '22

That "joke" being Putin.

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u/PotatoAnalytics Apr 29 '22

Why'd you all act like being a comedian is a bad thing though? It's a job that requires massive amounts of empathy and intelligence to even gauge your audience. And both of those are things career politicians are very bad at.

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u/MrTsukuda Apr 29 '22

I just did another comment on this, and I 100% agree! Comedian is not an easy job, and I would never say that! It is just quite a long footnote for a joke on the internet.

Comedians tend to have a good eye for reality, and an ability to stay grounded and empathetic to their audience (and the general population). They seem like prime candidates for a political career. Good satire takes a lot of understanding of society, and if you can make good satire, you have a good likelihood of seeing the absurdities in need of a change in society!

Other comment where I agree with another person making the sentiment: https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/uee93q/comment/i6o5ucd/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

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u/ticklemesatan Apr 29 '22

He was a constitutional scholar/lawyer by trade. He became a comedian/Actor later on his own creativity.

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u/Kamelasa Canada Apr 29 '22 edited Apr 29 '22

by trade

Not by trade, but by training. He never practiced as a lawyer. I imagine he didn't take the UA equivalent of the bar exam, even. Great quote of his I have on my desktop, "I remember walking into and out of the courtroom with the full adequate understanding that I must leave this stage in search of my own one."

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u/JackieMortes Poland Apr 29 '22

President? Tut!

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u/borris11 Apr 29 '22

I still get goosebumps hearing that.

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u/txn9i Apr 29 '22

The people ? Tut! Stop bombing my people u boomer fuck !

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u/Von665 Apr 29 '22

I saw that one !!! None of their plans & expectations worked out .... unreal how badly the missed their mark.

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u/KorianHUN Apr 29 '22

Yet many people nonstop share and believe russian fake news about french nato covid biolabs...

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u/Von665 Apr 29 '22

Very true, there is a fringe group that want to think & believe propaganda without guestioning if it makes any sense.

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u/BittersweetHumanity Apr 29 '22

What's crazy is that this calm and semi-lighthearted message was taken as the Russians were still roaming and fighting in the streets trying to capture him.

The fucking balls

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u/tomgz78 Apr 29 '22

I think its a bit of psychological projection from Putin. While Zelensky was braving the storm in Kyiv, Putin was on deep on his bunker, surrounded by sycophants, sitting in a 10m table.

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u/AbstinenceWorks Apr 29 '22

Golden gonads in Ukraine!

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u/RedditMerit456 Apr 29 '22

Its also too late now.

If he were to die now, he’ll be a martyr and a hero. If he were to live, he’ll be a hero. Either way , Ukranians aren’t giving up at this point. That ship has long sailed. Man will motivate his country be it in this world or the best.

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u/BrutonGasterTT Apr 29 '22

I read a comment yesterday from a Ukrainian saying they, and many others, thought Ukraine would suffer from essentially a civil war when the Russians began attacking. Because there was so much of a fissure among the country and not many were happy with Zelensky. But the way he stood up brought everyone together immediately and turned everything around against the Russians. I got chills reading it, that one man having such bravery literally brought an entire country together and gave them such a pride in themselves and their culture. (Not only them but the WHOLE WORLD)

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u/Sleeplesshelley USA Apr 29 '22

That ship sunk to the bottom of the Black Sea. I pray that he stays safe, his country needs him. Slava Ukraini ❤️🇺🇦🌻

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u/KKlear Apr 29 '22

That ship can go fuck itself.

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u/5illy_billy Apr 29 '22

They’re gonna put this man on currency.

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u/Worldly_Eagle4680 Apr 29 '22

He has a “greatest quotes” factory in his brain.

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u/Atomic-Decay Apr 29 '22

I’d guess that a comedian needs to master language, I wonder if that has something to do with it. Plus I believe he studied law?

Smart, quick witted, courageous and inspiring; he’s the whole “war time” package. Man am I happy he’s there for Ukraine right now.

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u/LittleDude24 Apr 29 '22

In addition to being a lawyer, Zelensky also founded a successful production company.

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u/BrightenedGold Apr 29 '22

And was elected president of ukriane!

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u/booi Apr 29 '22

After playing the President on tv!

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u/MDCCCLV Apr 29 '22

It's wild to think of Martin Sheen as actual US president in WW3.

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u/Jonne Apr 29 '22

Yeah, imagine an actor as US President, that would be nuts.

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u/sxan Apr 29 '22

We've done with worse.

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u/sockpuppet_285358521 Apr 29 '22

Yup! (Agent orange, we are talking about you)

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u/TurgidMargaret Apr 29 '22

You have to be intelligent to be a good comedian. They link abstract concepts together in complex and creative ways, they think very quickly, they develop sophisticated understanding of the expectations and attitudes of their audience, they play with language (one of the most complex things that humans do!) like a virtuoso.

Sometimes I suspect that we think about intelligence in a very limited way. We usually say "intelligent" to mean someone who is skilled at logic or rhetoric or whatever. But I think comedians are intelligent, and I'd even argue that elite athletes are intelligent (think of how brilliantly they are able to process information e.g. when calculating the trajectory of a ball)

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u/uMustEnterUsername Apr 29 '22

Ukraine. And the world. This is much bigger than our big brass balled men, women, and children of Ukraine. Be glad he is there for this planet. :8999::9151:

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u/AlternativeJosh Apr 29 '22

Be glad he is there for this planet. :8999::9151: I agree whole heartedly with this comment. This is very possibly the opening overture to WW3. Maybe it's not but if it really is he is doing a fantastic job conducting his Russian weakening symphony and protecting Europe and possibly the rest of the world.

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u/lijmlaag Apr 29 '22

Comedy is (one of) the most difficult disciplines in acting because the audience knows when you do it right or wrong. Making humor is like walking a rope. Margins are slim.

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u/many_kittens Apr 29 '22

Same reason many ppl liked Reagan (though Reagan didn't study law, Zelensky's legal education is an even better bonus). Head of state doesn't mean he's best at managing everything. Just function as, well, the head of state, as a symbol, that's actually quite important than many other things. You always have bizillion professional advisers and bureaucrats to do the rest anyways.

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u/Quetzacoatl85 Apr 29 '22

ideally it's both, and knowing when to listen to your advisors. if it's a complete gung-ho type you end up with a duterte or worse.

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u/Bibingka_Malagkit Apr 29 '22

or worse.

A Marcos Jr.

shivers

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u/Thebigempty4 Apr 29 '22

From what I read he seems to be leading the vote? What’s wrong with him?

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u/Bibingka_Malagkit Apr 29 '22 edited Apr 29 '22

Pretty long list but what I can pick-up on the top of my head is that he's a CONVICTED tax evader and got caught lying sooo many times including declaring his educational attainment, in which Oxford debunked. There's that open secret about him being a cocaine addict thus him seen sweating so much during campaign. Political career was also lackluster and some are appointee roles by his father the dictator during the 70's - 80's. Even his tenure as Senator was more like he just wanted to be seen seating there - ratio of laws authored and passed to tenure is less than Pacquiao as far as I remember, and Pacquiao wasn't even a good Senator.

Oh and did I mention that he's from a family where the father was a dictator that ruled for 2 decades, declared martial law, and made those years probably the darkest after WW2 in terms of oppression of the Filipino people. The mother is a monster of the same skin that spent stolen funds from the people to buy luxury items which includes her shoe collection that became a world record for being the biggest, and that time where she tantrum spent for jewelry just because she was ignored during a party involving world leaders.

Fuckers basically think they're 12th century royalty. There's this documentary "The Kingmaker" about the family, which the original aim of the producer was to maybe tell the story about the Marcoses just being misunderstood, but by Zeus' beard was the producer wrong. She fully understood what monsters they are.

I've personally seen Jr. and yep, he's an entitled twat who thinks he's so smart and that he can get away with what he wants. He's a narcicisst with years of conditioning from both his parents and from loyal lackeys, and is a dangerous person to put into public service roles, much more for the highest office in the land.

Fuck that guy. If he dies today because of cocaine overdose, I'll celebrate. My family has suffered enough from his family's wrongdoings, and that includes the death of my mother's cousins due to starvation. With him being unapologetic to these injustices means either he doesn't care or that he does not see anything wrong with what happened.

*edits: spelling and grammar errors

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u/M0O53 Apr 29 '22

After the first sentence i had to double check you weren't describing Trump lmao.

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u/Bibingka_Malagkit Apr 29 '22

Both share the same parallels when it comes to spreading disinformation to paint them in a better light actually.

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u/imahyummybeach Apr 29 '22

Agree!!! Complete package.. comedians are one of the smartest people out there, they are very quick with their punchlines and of course when you take Law it already shows you’re capable!! :)

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u/Wodegao Apr 29 '22

It's not comedians, it's simply Zelensky! He could have been anything, a dancer, a lawyer, an engineer... The guy has principles and he stands up for them.

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u/billetea Apr 29 '22 edited Apr 29 '22

Actually comedians tend to rank in highest IQ.

E.g. Rebel Wilson nearly achieved a perfect score in school and was admitted into Medicine, ended up studying and completing law at university but decided to be a comedian.

I guess we are probably more talking those who can adlib and write their own material.

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u/hughk Apr 29 '22

And doing standup, they have to think on their feet.

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u/togetherwem0m0 Apr 29 '22

He's literally our Winston churchill

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u/GiediOne Apr 29 '22

Agree 💯

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u/BogatyrOfMurom Apr 29 '22

And a legendary politician. A courageous and brave man.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '22 edited May 04 '22

[deleted]

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u/Kikidelosfeliz Apr 29 '22

The character he wrote in Servant of the People was a history teacher, and keeps evoking historical figures - clearly a man who understands the context of the moment.

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u/balleballe111111 Anti Appeasement - Planes for Ukraine! Apr 29 '22

it's actually quite hard to describe just how much of a Fucking Big Deal Russia's invasion of Ukraine is.

Agreed. Agonizing as it has been getting the gears rolling, our collective response to this was much faster and more unified than in WW2 by a significant margin. The ease with which the western countries accepted the idea that it was everyone's fight was remarkable. This invasion triggered our collective memory at the deepest level.

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u/Dano-D Apr 29 '22

I like this.

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u/Bison-mini0954 Apr 29 '22

world leaders hate this trick

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u/schkmenebene Apr 29 '22

I also imagine that if they actually succeeded, it would mean that any head of state is potentially at risk of actually being killed, by another country. Just imagine for a second how terrifying that must be, the resources of another country being available for whatever needed to kill you.

That shit will terrify them to all unite and actually advance on Putin.

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u/Darth_Monday Apr 29 '22

The man with the iron balls

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u/dontuseurname Apr 29 '22

Konstantinos Palaiologos vibes

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u/byx24 Apr 29 '22

>> Russian assassination squads parachuted into the capital and tried to storm the building to kill him

>> on Feb 24 those inside defended themselves with automatic weapons and erected defenses as the Russians twice tried to storm them at night

What happened ? I want to hear these stories. Did they get all or most of the Russians ?

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u/CaptainSur Ukraine Apr 29 '22

Yes. There was an article some time back discussing how many infiltrators they had killed - it was over 600 from my recollection. Security in Kyiv is still extremely tight as Russia is still trying to get mercenaries into the city to assassinate the President, his family and senior politicians to this day.

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u/AbstinenceWorks Apr 29 '22

Tito's response to Stalin seems apt: https://images.app.goo.gl/s1NyWRruHoLv6nrSA

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u/pppjurac Apr 29 '22

Indeed, there is something that Marshal Tito and Zelensky share. Big Cohones. Both said "Njet" to Russians . Tito won struggle and lived to old age.

Hope Ukraine wins and that bloke lives long life.

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u/Satrustegui Apr 29 '22

Hi there! The word you are searching for is “cojones” in its written from and pronounced with a strong “kh” sound. So think on it as “kokhones” for pronouncing purposes.

We love to use this word in Spain and you can see Zelenskyy’s cojones from space.

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u/bubalusarnee Apr 29 '22

and big compadres with big cojones, too

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u/WetnessPensive Apr 29 '22

600ish paratroopers were dropped on Kyiv around the President's Office to assassinate him? Can you provide more info or links about this? It would be interesting knowing if they really dropped so many.

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u/Aranict Apr 29 '22

Not paratroopers. Infiltrators. Also not at once. The other day Arestovych said in an interview that they are still finding infiltrators in Kyiv even now as Russia keeps sending them in. Apparently, quite an impressive number of dead infiltrators has accumulated by now. He also said there were shoot outs within the building in the first few days, like proper ones, not just a few bullets.

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u/Lord-Fumblebuck Apr 29 '22

there were shoot outs within the building in the first few days

This is fucking mad. Everything else aside, no wonder he's not taking any shit from Russia.

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u/arcinva Apr 29 '22

I feel like this is the right time to ressurect an old tradition and just start mounting their heads on spikes around the building so any new ones that are sent in will have the chance to rethink whether they really want to try.

I kid of course...

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u/rugbyj Apr 29 '22

This is definitely going to be a movie in like 15 years time.

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u/SnakeDokt0r Apr 29 '22

15? I'm willing to bet a year or two after this all ends.

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u/rugbyj Apr 29 '22

Hollywood always seems to have a 5-10 year moratorium on recent conflicts, and I don't see the fighting in the Donbas being over any time soon (never mind Crimea).

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u/seannie_4 Remember Mariupol! Never Forgive! Never Forget! Apr 29 '22

The stories are probably still under a lot of wraps for OPSEC reasons (don’t want the ruskies learning what happened to their special forces), but once all said and done I think we’ll be hearing a lot of stories about not just this incident but combat around the country

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u/PlzSendDunes Lithuania Apr 29 '22 edited Apr 29 '22

What happened? Russian specops now serve Ukrainian agriculture ministry in a far more useful position, as a fertiliser.

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u/eaglebtc Apr 29 '22

...for sunflower seeds.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '22

(don’t want the ruskies learning what happened to their special forces)

I am pretty sure after their forces not answering any calls since 55 days even the Russian can figure out what happened...

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u/Zookeeper_Sion Apr 29 '22

Nyet, comrade, no worry, Mikhail only lost phone after long night of drinking after successful special president removal operation.

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u/isthisanxbox USA Apr 29 '22

they’re probably still sending a helo every couple days to hostomel

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u/DocC3H8 Apr 29 '22

They probably meant the details of how Zelenskyy's team defended themselves, which the Russians could learn from and adapt to.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '22 edited May 18 '22

[deleted]

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u/FingerGungHo Apr 29 '22

Reality is often more unbelievable than fiction, since it doesn’t have to please expectations.

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u/Snifhvide Apr 29 '22

I wonder which actor Hollywood will choose to play Zelensky?

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u/TheaABrown Apr 29 '22

I’ve been thinking they just go for the trope and abandon any sense of physical resemblance in favour of the thirst trap have Henry Cavill play Zelenskyy doing his Geralt the Witcher voice.

There will be several obligatory but completely out of context bath scenes.

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u/scraglor Apr 29 '22

I’m somehow down for this

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u/Futureban Apr 29 '22

I don't agree but I can't say no to Henry Cavill

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u/LeTigreDuPapier Apr 29 '22

You’d obviously have to cast Putin as someone really soft and effeminate. Jennifer Lawrence maybe? Oh! Or who’s the guy who played George Costanza?!

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u/AngryGames Apr 29 '22

We both know it's going to be Jeremy Renner =/

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u/seanbastard1 Apr 29 '22

Oscar isaac

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u/Donjeur Apr 29 '22

I can’t wait for the movie / Netflix series

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u/L4r5man Apr 29 '22

And the Sabbaton songs.

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u/WhiteRabbitWithGlove Poland Apr 29 '22

Now I want Sabbaton to release an album called St. Javelin!

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u/Donjeur Apr 29 '22

Next single “tractors of destiny”

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u/WhiteRabbitWithGlove Poland Apr 29 '22

Gold and blue molotovs

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u/Futureban Apr 29 '22

Sabbaton has said in interviews they won't touch recent history. Something about not wanting to become propaganda for someone IIRC.

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u/BubbhaJebus Apr 29 '22

I remember hearing that there were assassination attempts at that time. But it makes sense, for security purposes, not to divulge the details at the time.

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u/DangerousDavies2020 Apr 29 '22

I heard the first wave was Kadyrov’s goon’s..wiped out

Second attack was Wagner PMC mercenaries…wiped out

This could be bollocks but that’s how I remember it reported

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u/43sunsets Australia Apr 29 '22

Weren't the Kadyrovites wiped out by Bayraktar drones in that column outside Kyiv? I doubt they'd be the type to storm a city on their own, they usually come in after the place has already been secured, as "policemen" specialising in raping and brutalising the population.

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u/DangerousDavies2020 Apr 29 '22

They weren’t completely wiped out, sadly, as we know about the atrocities in Bucha. I think Alpha group Spetsnaz were more likely to have been part of the first attempts, probably disguised as civilians. There were many reports of “saboteurs” in vehicles being taken out in the first days of the attack.

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u/43sunsets Australia Apr 29 '22

They weren’t completely wiped out, sadly, as we know about the atrocities in Bucha

Oh for sure, unfortunately there's 100K or more Kadyrovites in total, so there's always more coming unless Kadyrov gets tired of the losses and refuses to send more into Ukraine.

I can't wait to hear more about the Spetsnaz/Alpha Group guys who were eliminated by the Ukrainians, those stories are gonna be wild!

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u/LeTigreDuPapier Apr 29 '22

Right? It feels sick to frame such a terrible situation as entertainment, but some part of me can’t wait to hear the details of all the crazy shit that’s been happening. There’s been so many twists and subversions of expectations, it will obviously be a story for the ages when all is said and done.

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u/fogtrans Apr 29 '22

In the first nights in Kyiv there were a lot of gunfighting in the central districts. There were lots of sleeping groups of infiltrators. There were even several armoured groups heading into center. Like, imagine, a tank, armoured jeep and a truck tried to go through the central avenue (symbolically called victory avenue). I have a guess that these were Ukrainian armoured vehicles full of traitors from Ukrainian army. They were destroyed but still frightening to see them in the center of Kyiv. There were detailed plans on his capture/kill. Thanks for excellent intelligence provided by the west mostly everything had been found within fist few days. There will be lots of movies filmed. I for sure am waiting for Sean Penn’s piece

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u/LeTigreDuPapier Apr 29 '22

And people were able to track the invaders’ progress into the city by watching the traffic congestion on google maps.

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u/fogtrans Apr 29 '22

It was not funny. Not funny at all. I have hunting weapons and was literally thinking: how are my chances to shoot them from a balcony. Not freaking funny at all

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u/sugar_fields Apr 29 '22

Those first nights when gunfire was heard on Maidan even were truly terrifying. Not more terrifying than other things Russian already did to us, if you'd think logically. But somewhat those were very hard psychologically for me.

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u/scraglor Apr 29 '22

Zelensky probably called an ambulance when the Russians air dropped in, but not for himself

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u/Personality4Hire Apr 29 '22

This gives me Chuck Norris jokes vibes. Maybe we need to recycle them, but with Zelensky.

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u/ElectricChiahuahua Apr 29 '22

Hmmm lets try this.

The boogie man checks under his bed for Zalensky.

Zalensky once had a fight with himself and won, TWICE!

Zalensky can do a wheelie. On a unicycle.

Now someone needs to redo this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrHmcpRAZNs

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u/DangDang1981 Apr 29 '22 Silver

Did you hear they are doing a sequel to the movie 300? It’s called 1. Staring Zelensky. (Even when I type in his name there is a red underscore and it says “no replacements found”)

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u/abrasiveteapot Apr 29 '22

Lol, I love the autocorrect aside

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u/Delimeme Apr 29 '22 edited Apr 29 '22

Why does Zelensky sleep with a highlight? Because the dark is scared of him

*Edit: nightlight, or flashlight

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u/Alissinarr Apr 29 '22

Flashlight

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u/oalsaker Apr 29 '22

Chuck Norris is a religious nutcase, those jokes would be so much better spent on Zelenskyy

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u/bjplague Apr 29 '22 Gold

Zelensky already won at life.

If he lives through the war he is a symbol of Ukrainian resistance and tenacity.

If he dies he will become the most powerful martyr in modern times that will result in not only freedom for Ukraine but also as a rallying cry for other statea to break their bondage from russia.

Killing him would be the single biggest mistake russia EVER made. Zelensky might have been the spark that created the fire of spirit in Ukraine but killing him will not quench the fire... Just turn it into a raging inferno.

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u/tehweaksauce Apr 29 '22 Helpful 1UP

Are you telling me that if Putin strikes him down, he shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine?

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u/bjplague Apr 29 '22

yes.

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u/GeorgeCauldron7 Apr 29 '22

So what he told you was true, from a certain point of view.

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u/Itz_Boaty_Boiz Apr 29 '22 Silver

zelenbi wan skynobi

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u/LordMcD Apr 29 '22

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Putin The Wise?

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u/VietTimPhan Apr 29 '22

Darth Putin the Wide*

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u/pppjurac Apr 29 '22

And if Ukraine is doing things correctly, even in case of his demise, there are already capable person to jump into position to continue connecting fighting against O rcz.

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u/bjplague Apr 29 '22

Correct, Zelensky has surrounded himself with a team of smart people who were together before they were even a government.

This war is in good hands on the Ukranian side.

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u/ednorog Apr 29 '22

He has a good shot at 'Person of the 21st century' I believe.

Also, killing him may be a mistake, but having him alive doesn't help either. Attacking him and his country was the cardinal mistake.

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u/bjplague Apr 29 '22

indeed but done is done, now putin has probably decided not to try again.

Martyrs end empires.

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u/redVikingpower Apr 29 '22

I like the words, up from me

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u/CLINTHODO Apr 29 '22

"I’ve aged from all this wisdom that I never wanted. It’s the wisdom
tied to the number of people who have died, and the torture the Russian
soldiers perpetrated."

"To be honest, I never had the goal of attaining knowledge like that.”

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u/LeTigreDuPapier Apr 29 '22 edited Apr 29 '22

All the Wisdom that I Never Wanted sounds like a collection of soul bruising essays by Maya Angelo. The man’s got a way with words, that’s for sure.

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u/el_palmera Apr 29 '22

He was a comedian, having a way with words is his biggest skill set

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u/Parking_Resolution63 Apr 29 '22

Inspiration to all. Bet that little dickhead in Russia would be out in 20 minutes

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u/scraglor Apr 29 '22

He is hiding in a bunker and his country is doing the invading. Zelensky is exactly what he wants to be but can’t

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u/ornryactor Apr 29 '22

Putin is hiding in a bunker in the Ural Mountains, 17 hours away from Moscow. He is very much not still in the capital.

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u/DoYouEvenTrustBro Apr 29 '22

This guy is a warrior

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u/ThatDJgirl Apr 29 '22

I wonder if US politicians would ever show half the courage this man has shown.

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u/Wodegao Apr 29 '22

Ask Ted Cruz... What he does when the wind blows too hard.

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u/Big_Damn_Hiro Apr 29 '22

Shrugs shoulders... "welp, guess I'll go to Mexico."

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u/Such_Maintenance_577 Apr 29 '22

Donnie was hiding in a bunker from other americans.

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u/Dad3mass Apr 29 '22

Good old Bunker Boy, he and his boss Putin are two peas in a pod

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u/Dana07620 Apr 29 '22

He also wouldn't attend that war memorial event because it was raining.

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u/sunyudai Other Apr 29 '22

Lincoln rather famously visited the front during the civil war, including an active battlefield at City Point, Virginia.

But yeah.

Then again, it's hard to think of a modern scenario that results in one being tested like this.

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u/etaana Apr 29 '22

Great article I can't read :/

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u/Last_Explanation9105 Apr 29 '22 Gold Helpful

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u/etaana Apr 29 '22

Thank you, I get bummed out when there are links that I have to pay for subscription. Also from what I heard they knew that Russia will attack that day and now they are saying they didn't even have concrete clocks to block the streets

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u/Great_Button8677 Apr 29 '22

Do you have a picture of concrete clocks I haven’t seen them before, are they good because they roll and inform everyone of the time or…

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u/victory_zero Poland Apr 29 '22 edited Apr 29 '22

No no, that's a typo. They meant: concrete cocks.

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u/ruzamai Apr 29 '22

Clocked, cocked and blocked

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u/Great_Button8677 Apr 29 '22

Ahhhhh I see mental warfare make all the Russians insecure and distracted. Very clever wish I would of thought of it.

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u/CouldWouldShouldBot Apr 29 '22

It's 'would have', never 'would of'.

Rejoice, for you have been blessed by CouldWouldShouldBot!

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u/DoYouEvenTrustBro Apr 29 '22

Oh man thanks for this hack

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u/yoho808 Apr 29 '22

A true Servant of the people.

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u/123supreme123 Apr 29 '22

It's "funny" that russia already had pre-written news articles that he fled the capitol with his tail between his legs. I still remember his message to the people that night after the invasion.

"We are still here"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgCNKhtZYks

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u/retart123 Apr 29 '22

They really thinked it would go that way, goverment fleeing and army just surrendering due to lack of motivation to defend.

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u/sunyudai Other Apr 29 '22

Yep.

Putin and Shoigu's plan was based off of FSB intelligence, but the FSB was telling them what they want to hear, not what was happening... and FSB's agents were in turn telling the FSB what it wanted to hear and pocketing the money.

They honestly thought that they would be welcomed as liberators.

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u/retart123 Apr 29 '22

Thats what happens when you're sorrounded by "yes"-men

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u/Shackletainment United States Apr 29 '22

In the US, standard procedure is to evacuate the president to safety whenever their safety was threatened, including during an imminent nuclear war. Bunkers and structures the size of small towns (and just as self sufficient) have been built to provide the president and other government officials with a means to survive while their constituents die.

Yet, during the Cold War, most, if not all presidents, stated they would refuse to evacuate under the threat of nuclear annihilation, instead choosing to remain and die at their desk in the Oval Office, because they realized the symbolic value of the captain refusing to abandon ship while there are still passengers aboard was worth than their own survival.

Of course, that was all hypothetical. There was never a situation serious enough during the Cold War where a sitting president had to make that choice.

Zelensky did have to make that choice, over and over again, and I have no doubt his leadership has played a significant role in the inevitable russian defeat. I think Zelensky will go down in history as one of the greatest war-time leaders in modern times.

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u/hillsfar Taiwan America Apr 29 '22

"I’ve aged from all this wisdom that I never wanted. It’s the wisdom tied to the number of people who have died, and the torture the Russian soldiers perpetrated.

"To be honest, I never had the goal of attaining knowledge like that.”

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u/CaptainSur Ukraine Apr 29 '22

God level courage.

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u/LeTigreDuPapier Apr 29 '22

"It was an absolute madhouse. Automatics for everyone. The place was wide open. We didn’t even have concrete blocks to close the street.”

Good god. I can’t imagine how isolated and surreal and terrified you must feel in that moment. One minute you’re doing boring things at work, the next, you’re handed an automatic weapon and a bullet proof vest, and are told that waves of assassins are parachuting in to try to kill you.

I think I would just pass out like one of those startled goats.

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u/TwentySixKA Apr 29 '22

Can we order 240 politic heroes from your factory to replace some of our off shore Putins?

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u/OriginalVegetaJr Apr 29 '22

I wish I could be half of badass as this dude

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u/AHardRoguesLife Apr 29 '22

I wish our leaders were like Zelensky. Imagine a United States with a congress full of Zelensky's.

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u/itsyourmomcalling Apr 29 '22

You'd sink the entire east coast just by the combine ball mass

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u/diaryofsnow Apr 29 '22

combine ball mass

HL3 confirmed

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u/saiyansteve Apr 29 '22

He might be the leader of the free world.

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u/BogatyrOfMurom Apr 29 '22 edited Apr 29 '22

Zelensky is my hero and he is truly a Servant of the people. He is an example to the world and to his country as a man who is not just charismatic but he is brave and courageous. Aspiring politicians should follow his example. Слава Україні!! ❤❤🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦:8999:

"I need bullets not a ride" is one of my favorite quotes. Legendary 💪💪🇺🇦🇺🇦

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u/fringelife420 Apr 29 '22

I'm really hoping that Zekenskyy becomes an inspiration for other world leaders and that we start to lean away from authoritarianism. What rich people don't get is that they are safer with a stable democratic government, than one like Russia. Yes it sucks that corruption still exists, but regardless it's still better to be in a democratic system than an oligarchy. Dictatorships eventually come for the rich too.

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u/CautiousTeam3220 Apr 29 '22

Why does this read like an episode of Archer?

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u/BookishTen8 Apr 29 '22

"Phrasing!"

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u/exgiexpcv Apr 29 '22

He told TIME: "I’ve aged from all this wisdom that I never wanted. It’s the wisdom tied to the number of people who have died, and the torture the Russian soldiers perpetrated.

"To be honest, I never had the goal of attaining knowledge like that.”

So say we all.

Welp, the U.S.A. is kicking out an impressive $33 billion USD aid package, and Putin and his odious ilk have been making threats, so shit is ramping up. Hug your loved ones, go for walks, and let's focus on doing what we can to make this world a better place, not a worse one, like Putin and his thugs.

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u/OldSkool696969 Apr 29 '22

The Guy is a FUKIN BADASS , STAND UP MAN!!

HANDS DOWN ....OTHER COUNTRIES SHOULD TAKE NOTE OF THIS MAN/LEADER/BADASS dude

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u/Apophylita Apr 29 '22

May he stay safe and protected.

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u/Donjeur Apr 29 '22

he IS Ukraine, as head of state he knew he is tied to the heart of the land

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u/PopularBug5 Apr 29 '22

Calm your jets, gents. It happened way back when the invasion began and they had long been apprehended.

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u/AZMD911 Apr 29 '22

Holy fuck!

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u/ZestycloseVirus6001 Apr 29 '22

Zelensky is a giant.

Putin is a midget.

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u/Big_Damn_Hiro Apr 29 '22

Putler is probably raging that Zelensky is so popular for standing up to him. That clown spent years cultivating this image of himself being this manly man who rides horses topless (to show off his roid rage muscles) who has the biggest baddest military in the world. And now that he has blundered his way into a war that has severely damaged that reputation, to see Zelensky being praised by millions across the planet, who are giving so much to help him and the brave people Ukraine, that has got to have him whining like the punk bitch he is. And with his mammoth ego he can't admit that he fucked up.

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u/balleballe111111 Anti Appeasement - Planes for Ukraine! Apr 29 '22

I primarily have trolls coming out of the woodwork when I say something complimentary about Zelenskyy on a personal level, rather than political. It definitely irritates Putin's proxies.

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u/iamatwork24 Apr 29 '22

I hate Putin and agree with your statement aside from the fact that he definitely wasn’t taking steroids for those infamous photos. Nothing about his arms or body points to steroids lol

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u/SirBMsALot Apr 29 '22

He is not in danger, he is the danger

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