r/ukraine May 18 '22 Silver 2 Helpful 2 LOVE! 1 Starstruck 1

Zelensky mocks recent Russian claims of unleashing an unstoppable laser in the war as akin to "wonder weapons" Hitler touted late in WWII. “The clearer it became the Nazis had no chance in the war, the more propaganda about an amazing weapon that would be so powerful as to ensure a turning point." News

https://www.rferl.org/a/ukraine-russia-laser-weapon-zelenskiy-/31857083.html
12.5k Upvotes

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762

u/AlexFromOgish May 19 '22

Sounds like a bit of desperate propaganda to prop up morale among Russian troops

702

u/r2002 May 19 '22

prop up morale

Even if the troops believed this, wouldn't they think "WELL GEEZ IT WOULD'VE BEEN NICE IF YOU USED THE LASER BEFORE 28,000 OF US WERE KILLED."

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u/Endarkend May 19 '22

Killed holding WW2 weapons and gear so low grade someone with a paintbal gun could probably take them out.

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u/UnhappyImp May 19 '22

Jokes aside, we Americans continue to use a weapon designed from 1918, the M2 Browning .50 caliber heavy machine gun! The Germans even have the MG3, a modern and slightly lower rate of fire MG42! So if you look far enough you’ll find weapons and tech from those wars. Also the Russian AKs stemming from the AK47.

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u/bpivk May 19 '22

Hey. Don't diss Ma Deuce. It's the best sniper/crowd control/buzsaw/building cutter/... you can find. I'ts all around great gun and you can even brew coffee on the barrel if you shoot enough with it.

A true jack of all trades.

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u/oh-propagandhi May 19 '22

designed from 1918

Which still outdates the design of the Mosin Nagant by almost 35 years and in terms of gun history those are some hugely important years.

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u/314rft United States May 19 '22

Plane history too. In those 35 years, planes went from literally not existing to being used in a world war.

7

u/PrisonerV May 19 '22

But the equivalent here is if the US Army was out of M2s and handed you a French Chauchet as a replacement that they've had in storage for the past 70 years.

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u/314rft United States May 19 '22

And was badly rusted.

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22 Helpful

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22

USA and Russia are both assholes, but USA is the western asshole, our asshole.

119

u/IngoHeinscher May 19 '22

They are also on different levels of assholeness. The US has a lot of flaws, but at least for now, it remains a mostly free society. US forces committed war crimes, but never on the scale seen from the Russian troops in the aggression against Ukraine.

44

u/Yetitlives Denmark May 19 '22

"Quantity has a quality of its own" can be applied to many things, it seems.

6

u/Sutarmekeg May 19 '22 edited May 21 '22

Russian propaganda has sculpted US society for ages now.

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u/deedshotr May 19 '22

USA is RAPIDLY losing those freedoms though

12

u/Timo425 Estonia May 19 '22

Still nothing compared to Russia.

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u/MementoAmagi May 19 '22

i think even if US freedom has fallen 50% last years, they would need to fall another 90% to even compete in same division as Russia

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

[deleted]

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u/Longjumping_While922 May 19 '22

Bahahahaaa lolol

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u/JenkinsJenkinsLBC May 19 '22

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.

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u/Harrythehobbit May 19 '22

If Americans could stop finding a way to somehow make everything about them, that would be cool. Even for like 5 minutes.

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u/epicurean56 May 19 '22

They can't very well just say, "they have better artillery than us!"

That's the wonder weapon.

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u/Rechlai May 19 '22

Nope! It's all about pretending they have a big scary dildo to wave around. "say hello to my very large Friend. Fear me!"

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u/substandardgaussian May 19 '22

They could launch that dildo pretty far, with the right artillery.

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u/substandardgaussian May 19 '22 Silver

The Wagnerites put out an analysis on their Telegram group a little while ago that basically said "the Ukrainians are obliterating us even using the exact same artillery we are."

Since the announcement of M777 deliveries, a lot of people have been assuming that they've already started doing most of the heavy lifting we hear about, but most Ukrainian artillery is still the old artillery Russia also has, and they continue to handily defeat the Russians with it.

Increasing the saturation of M777s with trained operators among artillery units and executing longer-term initiatives based around their range advantage is still mostly in the future.

Despite effectively already being defeated, the Russians haven't even begun to lose the artillery war.

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u/Downking May 19 '22

I Can't Believe it's Not Laser

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u/WigglingForChristmas May 19 '22

When asked 9 out of 10 Russians couldn't believe it was laser.

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u/Endarkend May 19 '22

They realized their bullshit about their magic rockets and mercinary super soldiers wasn't taking, so they go full fantasy on us.

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u/msut77 May 19 '22

They have sharks with laser beams

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u/mahnamahna27 May 19 '22

Are they ill-tempered?

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u/Rasikko Suomi / Yhdysvallot May 19 '22

There's a laser of dead Russia soldiers too.

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u/begemot90 May 19 '22

He’s not wrong. A common tactic of Soviet, then later Russian propaganda is to hype up areas in which they are weak in. The most glaring example, in my opinion, is the T-14 armata tank.

It is all but fictional except for the mock-ups for foreign observers.

It did participate in the 2014 Victory Day parades, in which several broke down at the tail end of the parade route. But shouldn’t it be odd to even to the casual observer that the Russian super tank debuted in 2014 is not on the battlefield, and yet we are being exposed to a generational weakness in Russian tanks (T-72’s, T-80’s, and T-90’s) of jack in the box reactions to ATGM’s.

So my understanding of Russia is if they are hyping a weapon system, be it nukes, tanks, or lasers, it is telling me that they are operationally deficient in that area.

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u/depressdalcohogymrat May 19 '22

Weapons procurement is expensive. One of the main ways countries pay for new weapons is through export contracts. Part of the reason that no more F-22's are being built is because congress banned the export of them. So the coats were high. F-35's are being exported to over a dozen countries.

T-14 on the other hand might be a decent tank but nobody seems to want it. If they can't sell at a markup then they can't afford to build their own. Thanks to corruption it's hard to tell what's actually going on with it.

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22

It’s a shame about the F-22.

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u/ZippyDan May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

Not really. It's already becoming obsolete in the modern air battlefield.

Networked air assets and drones are the future.

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u/azrckcrwler May 19 '22

This has all happened before...

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u/RavyNavenIssue May 19 '22

And all this will happen again.

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u/Peuned May 19 '22

that's far from being obsolete. it's still a extremely strong fighter.

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u/ZippyDan May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

It only has one role - air superiority - and the F-35 can already outperform it with superior range, superior radar on its own, and far superior radar in a networked capacity. The F-22 is more stealthy, but it can't really leverage that stealth for SEAD or ground attack, which the F-35 can. And then there is the fact that although the F-22 is stealthier, its stealth tech requires crazy maintenance costs.

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u/capitaine_d May 19 '22

Im honestly curious if the rocket or even detonation systems for their nukes are operational. Or even still full assembled if not already partially sold off.

“Well last nuke count was probably 1991, and weve just been running with that cuz the guy in charged called from his third pleasure boat and said were good.”

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u/dansdata May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

Even if Russia has operational delivery systems, and working warheads, for only one per cent of their warhead count, they still have about sixty nukes, with a combined yield of around seven megatons.

(As far as we can tell. They don't exactly issue press releases about the size of their stockpile.)

And, as shit as Russia is proving their military to be, I'm pretty sure that they're doing better than only 1% WMD operability. And if the missile works but you don't know if the warhead will, you still launch that missile along with everything else, for cover.

Liquid-fueled ICBMs have a higher chance of just plain not getting off the ground if improperly maintained, but Russia has old-fashioned reliable solid-fueled ones, too. And a decent stock of operational nuclear-armed submarines. They only ever made six of the huge Typhoon-class nuclear-powered ballistic missile subs; I've no idea how many of them are operational today. For all I know, they're all basket cases, like Russia's single aircraft carrier.

But Russia also has a number of other nuclear-powered, and also boring old diesel-electric, subs that can launch missiles. And diesel-electrics are quieter (in submerged electric mode) than nuclear subs, and thus more able to get within range of their targets without being detected.

And, for further good old-fashioned fun, there are still plenty of targets that Russia can get a Tu-95 within cruise-missile range of, on account of that range being in excess of 2500 kilometres.

(A Tu-95 can have under-wing hardpoints for eight cruise missiles, though I've seen video of only four hardpoints being used, for whatever reason. Four cruise-missile nukes per bomber would, you know, probably still be perfectly adequate.)

If Putin decides to start World War III (and if everyone he needs to agree with this is crazy enough to do so, which is very much not certain), he can. And he can do it properly, not just with two or three token mushroom clouds.

(Oh - he's got a decent stock of chemical weapons at his disposal, too! They aren't a lot of use against a modern military, but they kill civilians real good.)

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u/selectrix May 19 '22

And diesel-electrics are quieter (in submerged electric mode) than nuclear subs, and thus more able to get within range of their targets without being detected.

As shown in the 1990s war documentary Periscope Down.

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u/dansdata May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

...which is actually somewhat accurate!

Kelsey Grammer also starred in another military comedy with teeth.

(He also showed up here and there kind of at random. That link is not Kelsey painted blue in an X-Men movie. :-)

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u/TriggurWarning May 19 '22

I think their most modern weapons like the hypersonic nuclear delivery system work, but the rest of that crap from the soviet era is not going to be reliable at all.

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u/MoiraKatsuke May 19 '22

Reminder that their missiles aren't hypersonic

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u/HardChoicesAreHard May 19 '22

Weren't some of those hypersonic missiles launched in Ukraine already? Ofc with conventional load.

Doesn't mean they would be able to launch a nuke by any means though, but it means there is at least one part that could work.

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u/backifran May 19 '22

Jack in the box reactions 😆😆😆😆😆

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u/Worldly_Eagle4680 May 18 '22

Zelenskyy’s sarcasm and dark humor is a relief during the grim war news.

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22

[deleted]

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u/Jormungandr000 May 19 '22

A Putin's funeral special.

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u/mc_mentos May 19 '22

Insert selfy grave meme

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u/Kortburk May 19 '22

The roast of Vladimir Putin, and it ends with an actual roasting.

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u/Koll989 May 19 '22

He has brilliant writers too

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u/Ted_Rex May 19 '22

the russians did so much stupid things during the war, it should have its own South Park episode. Zelensky should voice - himself

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u/JupiterQuirinus May 18 '22

Breaking news: Putin claims he has "sharks with frickin' laser beams" in the Black Sea.

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u/watcherofworld May 19 '22

Now that you mention it... he does sort of look like Dr. Evil

45

u/amazingoopah May 19 '22

Lately he's started to look like Fat Bastard though

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u/bravestar3030 May 19 '22

I want my bay back baby back baby back bortsch

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u/Koll989 May 19 '22

Lavrov is Fat Bastard

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u/pauldeanbumgarner May 19 '22

More like mini-me.

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u/clumsykitten May 19 '22

Lil' Hitler

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u/pauldeanbumgarner May 19 '22

Lil’Pootler

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u/Safe_Leather1852 May 19 '22

Lil' Putain (translate from french)

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u/Peuned May 19 '22

can i get some Putain with cheese curds and brown gravy?

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u/Safe_Leather1852 May 19 '22

That is one weird fetish. Also, not judging, who am I to judge? =))

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22

No, Hitler was actually successful.

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u/Ted_Rex May 19 '22

Walmart Hitler

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u/MechanisedFox May 19 '22

More like Dobby the house elf's evil cousin.

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u/Vivalyrian May 19 '22

More like if Dr. Evil impregnated Mini-Me and they had octuplets that proceeded to inbreed for a number of generations, until one of the nastier ones got thrown out on account of spontaneously teaching the family French as they exclaimed "Putaaaain!" in unison upon laying eyes on his gross face.

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u/willard_saf May 19 '22

Accept someone stole all the money so he got some non mutated seabass.

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u/Nicetrydicklips May 19 '22

Are they ill tempered?

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u/Pons__Aelius May 19 '22

Absolutely.

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u/liftrman May 19 '22

But they are angry 😡

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u/Kawhibunga May 19 '22

Ill-tempered, at least.

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u/Jaded_Cranberry2023 May 19 '22

Lolol... Idiot troops don't calibrate the shark settings so the lasers end up blinding their own pilots who fall into the sea to become shark dinner. Rinse and repeat 20x.

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u/Shuber-Fuber May 19 '22

Ends up like their anti-tank dogs programs.

Shark instead learned that lasing Russian planes means food.

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u/wEdIdNtStaRtThEfIrEx May 19 '22

Putin watched Austin Powers thinking it was a documentary not a comedy.

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u/SternenO German May 19 '22

And hordes of robot T-Rexes

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u/Fell-Hand May 19 '22

We must be in the Viking age.

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u/DeezNeezuts May 19 '22

They have killed a shit load of dolphins unfortunately

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u/realnrh May 19 '22

Not for long, if all that hydrogen sulfide gets dumped into the Azov.

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u/the_3rdist May 19 '22

Not quite but he does have a fleet of trained dolphins. All he needs to do is strap lasers to them.

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u/Schievel1 May 18 '22

IMMA CHARGiN MA LAZR

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u/FormerSrirachaAddict May 19 '22

Orly?

since we're summoning the ancients

15

u/perpetualwalnut May 19 '22

then who was phone?

9

u/Dabat1 May 19 '22

Dearest sir or madam,

If you could you please point me to the direction, or location, of one Sarah J. Connor. I assure you, my need is urgent and I will be most appreciative of your assistance.

-Signed

I'mar Obot

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u/Industrialpainter89 May 19 '22

But I'm le tired

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u/Myneighbourtotara May 19 '22

Well have a nap

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u/Erkkiks May 19 '22

AND THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES

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u/ExistedDim4 May 19 '22

More like ORLAN?

Since we're summoning modern nazi wunderwaffe

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u/mir_platzt_der_Sack May 19 '22

Send in Dr. Octagonapus :D

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u/SentientTooth May 19 '22

NO IM IN CHARGE OF MALAYSIA

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u/eggsarenice May 19 '22

As a Malaysian please, you can't do worse than the current government.

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u/watcherofworld May 18 '22

Ya know, he makes a very good point.

It's honestly probably just a classroom laser pointer. Still high tech for ruzzia though.

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u/rlhignett May 19 '22

All they'll do is further piss off the cats and dogs of Ukraine.

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u/Worldly_Eagle4680 May 19 '22

Patron is waiting to sniff them

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u/snacktonomy May 19 '22

Whatcha gonna do, Tommy? Dazzle them to death?

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u/Ivoryyyyyyyyyy May 19 '22

he makes a very good point.

So does the laser, usually.

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u/yalloc Ukraine May 19 '22

Laser guided weapons aren’t all that uncommon, Ukraine’s own stugna is such a weapon. But proper laser weapons are only now being created in the most advanced countries and usually as counter-projectile defense systems.

I’m sure Russia has laser guided systems but not laser weapons.

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u/alchemist1961 May 19 '22

Feels kinda warm....

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u/HODLOnForOneMoreDay May 19 '22

My mistake. I was standing next to a lot stove. So what's this laser you were going on about?

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u/OrgyMcBloodyFace May 19 '22

Until someone steals the battery

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u/Ignash3D Lithuania May 19 '22

Russians used high energy Chinese lasers from aliexpress in Donbas before, but not to melt satellites, but to blind people watching through optics

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u/ZDRCK May 19 '22

It’s just vlad playing with a laser pointer playing with his cat

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u/Illustrious_Warthog May 19 '22

Somebody go back to town and bring a shitload of mirrors.

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u/cirquefan May 19 '22

Instead of the "common clay of the New West" -- the "cannon fodder of the Old East"

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u/boredonymous May 19 '22

No fair! Zelensky is calling the bluff out loud! And with historical facts!!! This is not going to bode well for talking heads or their viewers. Quick! Somebody say something about a politician's phone, or laptop, or server, or published videos.... Just pick something but the truth!

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u/Romanfiend USA May 19 '22

Calling Russia’s bluff is clearly a war crime - according to Russia…probably.

I just feel like maybe nobody over there was paying any attention when we were explaining to them what war crimes actually were.

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u/Nyarlathotep451 May 19 '22

Does it work in the rain ?

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u/PotatoAnalytics May 19 '22

They've been using their "hypersonic missiles" early on, even if they were strategically nonsensical. If they really did have operational laser superweapons, they'd have used it by now.

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u/itsallmelting May 19 '22

Is this the Jewish Space Laser that MTG is talking about

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u/KingOfBeaverIsland May 19 '22

She got her Russian propaganda mixed up: It's a Russian space laser for killing jews.

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u/HavocReigns May 19 '22

No, you can bet MTG wouldn't be bitching about anything Russian.

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u/Lordborgman May 19 '22

When the hell did Magic the Gathering get a Jewish Space Laser card? I must have missed an expansion.

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u/Thoughtulism May 19 '22

Is that how we denazify Ukraine? Good to know! /S

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u/Yorikor May 19 '22

Reminds me of a German joke from near the end of WW2:

Tönnes meets Scheel and is surprised he's not wearing any uniform.

"Tönnes, have you not been drafted?"

"I'm doing work for the Vergeltung, working on devastating weapons. Very secret."

"You can tell me Tönnes, I won't mention it to anyone."

"Very well. Imagine oak trees, 200 feet tall. Imagine a hundred thousand of them. Can you imagine that?"

"Sure Tönnis, sound impressive, go on."

"Now imagine we hollow out those trees, fill them with explosives and equip them with rocket engines. Can you imagine that?"

"Of course Tönnis, that sounds awe inspiring!"

"And now imagine a salvo of those trees, rising on plumes of smoke and fire, arcing towards London, coming down over New York, hailing death on Moscow, can you imagine it?"

"Oh yes Tönnes, what a glorious spectacle! It'll truly be Vergeltung! We'll win the war easily! But what is your job in all this?"

"Don't tell anyone, Scheel... but I'm planting the oak trees!"

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u/ZoomJet May 19 '22

It's like looking back through time. Thanks for sharing!

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u/Brandon2874 May 18 '22 edited May 19 '22

The laser system is to replace air defense missiles, which are much more expensive, according to Borisov, who also praised a Russian laser weapon called Peresvet, which he said is being widely deployed and, while it cannot shoot down drones, can blind satellites up to 1,500 kilometers above Earth. One test incinerated a drone 3.1 miles away within five seconds, according to the official

https://imgur.com/a/yiX15Ww

E-bombs could still probably render it ineffective even if it had top notch surveillance and target acquisition abilities.

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22

[deleted]

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u/Brandon2874 May 19 '22

https://www.esa.int/Enabling_Support/Space_Transportation/Types_of_orbits#GEO

A low Earth orbit (LEO) is, as the name suggests, an orbit that is relatively close to Earth’s surface. It is normally at an altitude of less than 1000 km but could be as low as 160 km above Earth – which is low compared to other orbits, but still very far above Earth’s surface....It is the orbit most commonly used for satellite imaging.

Medium Earth orbit (MEO) is an Earth-centred orbit with an altitude above a low Earth orbit (LEO) and below a high Earth orbit (HEO) – between 2,000 and 35,786 km (1,243 and 22,236 mi) above sea level.

Geostationary- 35 786 km

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u/Stopjuststop3424 May 19 '22

to be fair, the US beat them to it and it very much was so powerful as to ensure a turning point. But the point still stands it's likely just propaganda. I do have to wonder though about the mysterious "sonic" weapon that was being reported a while back, with US diplomats reporting a bunch of different symptoms. I think it was reported in Cuba at one point so I thought at the time maybe the Russians or Chinese were behind it.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Havana_syndrome

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u/the_old_mans_words May 19 '22

I feel like that was deemed fake, wasn't it?

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u/Garbage029 May 19 '22

Good way to rally up a political base in Florida for sure.

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u/Stopjuststop3424 May 19 '22

according to wiki the cause and validity are still undetermined

edit: "an expert committee of the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine concluded in December 2020 that microwave energy (specifically, directed pulsed RF energy[2]) "appears to be the most plausible mechanism in explaining these cases among those that the committee considered", but that "each possible cause remains speculative".[

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u/Brandon2874 May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

Not as well sourced as I like, but microwave surveillance was making the rounds of minor attention in 2005.

https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2005/10/eavesdropping_t.html

https://www.edn.com/eavesdropping-using-microwaves/

"So the new “through-the-wall audio surveillance system” uses a powerful beam of very high frequency radio waves instead of light. Radio can penetrate walls – if they didn’t, portable radios wouldn’t work inside a house.

The system uses a horn antenna to radiate a beam of microwave energy –between 30 and 100 gigahertz – through a building wall. If people are speaking inside the room, any flimsy surface, such as clothing, will be vibrating. This modulates the radio beam reflected from the surface.

Although the radio reflection that passes back through the wall is extremely faint, the kind of electronic extraction and signal cleaning tricks used by NASA to decode signals in space can be used to extract speech."

Edit- Not attributing to NASA or anyone for that matter, just saying there were possibilities floating around that'd encourage people to play with microwaves to surveil this type of setting .

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u/RowWeekly May 19 '22

A report concluded that most cases have environmental or medical causes, but the government remains focused on investigating two dozen incidents that remain unexplained. - January, 2022, NY Times https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/20/us/politics/havana-syndrome-cia-report.html

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u/Stopjuststop3424 May 19 '22

that makes me wonder if the Havana syndrome might be a side effect of being hit directly with one of these surveillance microwaves?

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22

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u/Negligent__discharge May 19 '22

Directional sound. Those cool spots on future tech on the space channal back in the 90's went over this tech. The problem is if you crank up the output ( to get over interference ) you end up cooking people ( a little ).

So you see cops with speakers pointed at protesters. Extremely low frequency so people don't know what is happening and protect themselves.

Causes long term damage but those protesters will never be able to prove it in court.

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u/MerryGoWrong May 19 '22

America has sunk billions into this tech over the past few decades and is still nowhere close to a usable weapon. If they can't do it the Russians have no chance.

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u/xlDirteDeedslx May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

It's a lot further along than you realize. Israel has a prototype called the Iron Beam that has successfully shot down targets at a whopping cost of $3.50 a shot. You can watch the test on the link I provided below. The US has successfully tested it's version too and I'm sure they are working hand in hand with the Israelis on theirs. It can shoot down drones, rockets, artillery, and even mortars and may be deployed within a year. That said I seriously doubt Russia is anywhere close to what these systems can do because nothing in Russia is safe from the constant corruption and embezzlement. Article

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u/RestaurantDry621 May 19 '22

I just don't think "Iron Beam" is really the most rad name they could have come up with.

They should have consulted with UK for a cool name.

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u/InvestigatorN0 May 19 '22

Beamy Mc beam face?

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u/mickstep May 19 '22

Using a laser weapon in ideal test environments where you know where the target will be and have the laser statically deployed in the perfect place is a far cry from being a battlefield weapon. Most battlefield deployments don't have access to grid electricity, how many diesel generators does it take to provide the necessary electricity?

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u/jayc428 May 19 '22

While that is very true, the US has deployed them in very limited active use, however their uses are very niche and specific, like there is one mounted to a Humvee for mine clearing. The SEQ3 is mounted on a destroyer and is used to taking out small unprotected targets. Useful but not what most people expect when you hear about military lasers. Maybe in another 10-20 years.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/ZEUS-HLONS_(HMMWV_Laser_Ordnance_Neutralization_System)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/AN/SEQ-3_Laser_Weapon_System

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u/xlDirteDeedslx May 19 '22

For what Israel is going to be using it for their system will work fine. They know where the launches towards their territory will come from and they can already detect them with the systems they have. Then it's just a matter of integrating the laser to attack the target instead of expensive interceptors. They also can hook this up to their grid and have zero issues with powering it. As far as NAVY use goes they have essentially unlimited power on carriers with their nuclear reactors. Integrating the system into a ship to attack targets coming from anywhere will be far more difficult but it's just a matter of time and testing. I'd say Israel's will be up and working well before the Navy's but both will be up in the next 5-10 years most likely.

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u/mickstep May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

No disagreement there but what use is that to the current Russian situation? If this war goes naval Russia is already completely outgunned. On land with static emplacement and grid hook up its completely useless.

Good for Israel, good for US navy, useless for Russia.

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u/gratefool1 May 19 '22

Dude. They have tested this on a ship and shot down an incoming middle. It was shown months ago.

Crap. It was land based. You are right :( I swear I read that and somehow thought it was on a ship in March.

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u/mickstep May 19 '22

On a ship there is a massive powerplant that never moves in relation to the weapon so a ship is an ideal environment for the weapon but still it's not viable.

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u/AlpineCorbett May 19 '22

In answer to the diesel generator question, the answer is considerably less than a single one.

My reading says the iron dome uses a 150kw power source. Diesel generators, in the commercial side no less, can be purchased up to 9mw. Caterpillar sells a 4.5mw diesel that I've seen around quite a few times. Music festivals regularly use more than 150kw diesel generators.

So realistically the whole apparatus, plus it's power source, could probably be pulled by a one ton pickup truck without too many problems.

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_FART_HOLE May 19 '22

Considering israel couldn’t develop anything without US funds, I would hope there’s plenty of information sharing

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u/romario77 May 19 '22

The lasers are great, but what do you do if the drone is painted with reflective paint where 90-95% of energy is not absorbed?

It will also cost about $3.50 a drone.

I just don't hear this being talked about but it seems like a very easy solution to these million (or even billion) dollar lasers.

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u/wEdIdNtStaRtThEfIrEx May 19 '22

A coat of paint is not a perfect mirror. To protect a drone to that level you would have to give it a scale mail of mirrors.

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u/maveric101 May 19 '22

You don't hear it being talked about because it doesn't work (well enough). Mirrors are not perfect, and the energy that is absorbed will degrade the reflection capabilities, which causes more energy to be absorbed, etc.

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u/AlleonoriCat Ukraine May 19 '22

Polished chrome missiles are the future, lol.

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u/1gnominious May 19 '22

I've been out of optical r&d for about a decade now but when I left there were already working prototypes. More recently I know that there have been some naval based platforms seeing deployment.

The main problem with any high powered military laser isn't getting it to work. It's keeping it working. They are extremely touchy and prone to misalignment. There is very little maintenance you can do for these systems out in the field. If something goes wrong it has to be shipped back and operated on in a clean room by engineers and/or high level techs.

That's why you see them going on ships first. They're the most stable platform in terms of environmental controls and impacts. Also they have more overhead for weight and physical dimensions. Getting lasers on aircraft and vehicles is a lot harder not just because of the physical strain, but also design constraints. All those vibrations, little impacts, and temperature cycles slowly misalign your optics and degrade performance on a device that is already barely meeting spec. It's very difficult to reinforce when you can't add any more weight or use more space.

I always hated doing production lasers for the military because you had had so many constraints and had to get them through environmental testing. IE vibration and -50C to +100C temperature cycles. It was a total crapshoot if that laser was going to work after. Worse yet it may work at all temperatures except one which is always the trickiest to troubleshoot. The temperature change could cause the housing to imperceptibly warp and throw off the alignment of one piece inside that fucked everything up. All those different materials having different expansion coefficients and not having the weight or physical room to temp control everything properly. You had to make it small and light enough to fit on the platform. I always envied the guys who got to work on ship or stationary systems because they didn't have to worry about that. 99% of the problems we faced with transitioning to production for aircraft and armor/infantry platforms were mechanical rather than optical.

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u/L0rdCrims0n May 19 '22

I can GUARANTEE you that we have space-based Lasers of Doom. Do you really think the DoD would go and announce that to the world?

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u/clarkrd USA May 19 '22

I figure they are sitting on shit that we wont know about for another 20 years.

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u/L0rdCrims0n May 19 '22

My little -ism is “Think about what we’ll have 50 years from now. We have that now.”

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u/Shuber-Fuber May 19 '22

Or "we already figured out 50 years why it won't work. Or what tech is missing to make it work and we're on the look out for it."

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u/Lost_Girlz USA May 19 '22

laughs in american I agree.

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u/RestaurantDry621 May 19 '22

"Hahahahaa. And we don't have lightsabers either."

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u/RowWeekly May 19 '22

Which really makes me wonder about these things being reported as, "UFOs" by our own pilots. What the hell did we manage to create? Also, I would absolutely be thrilled to find out it was based off a crashed UFO that was being reverse engineered at Area 51. Seriously though, I do wonder about those supposed UFO sightings that our DoD are claiming to have no idea at all...none, Senator, about what that could be.

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u/L0rdCrims0n May 19 '22

I also find it interesting that a good chunk of those sightings are made at or near air force bases. Whoda thunk it?

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u/Shuber-Fuber May 19 '22

I remember that UFO was used to cover up B2 stealth bombers test flights if they're spotted. And to be honest, a jet black triangle thing flying high up that no radar can see would make people go "OMG aliens!"

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u/NormallyBloodborne May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

Look up “Fastwalkers” and “Slowwalkers” in regard to NORAD.

FOIA requests confirmed the terms are real and refer to items detected by NORAD. A multitude of NORAD employee leaks claim that they are objects on non ballistic trajectories coming in from the void.

I wouldn’t be surprised if we have some of the tech reverse engineered, but for it to all be us would be pretty unlikely.

Edit: Bc I’m dumb dumb

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u/three50two May 19 '22

Got a link ? Can’t find anything other than moving companies and people talking about Cessnas being used as war planes

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u/NormallyBloodborne May 19 '22

So I’m actually a dummy and the term is Fastwalkers/Slowwalkers

https://www.reddit.com/r/UFOs/comments/us3bve/ufos_tracked_on_satellite_fastwalkers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thread with links including the FOIA request.

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u/Lucky_Painter_875 May 19 '22

Pretty sure that’s 200% true.

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u/DamnDirtyApe8472 May 19 '22

Nope. But I think they lit up a few fuel depots and ammunition factories just for fun

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u/L0rdCrims0n May 19 '22

What fun are toys if you can’t play with them a little?

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u/chingy1337 May 19 '22

It's being put on tanks as we speak to defend against drones. The tech is about to go into the field.

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u/Effective_Switch_897 May 19 '22

lasers are awesome if there is nothing causing dispersion or energy absorption.

so... rain, smoke bombs, fog, water vapor would reduce effectiveness/range of a laser.

show us iron beam in working in the rain or through the smoke of a California forest fire!

although i would like to see iron beam in action at night. pink floyd light show?

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u/Chonkalonkfatneek May 19 '22

It's going quite well. Americans have a destroyer with mounted laser. Germans have some small lasers as well

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u/Eleutheria-cl May 19 '22

Actually…back in the time of Nazi Germany, Hitler did get a CHANCE to have some “wonder weapons”, if he hadn’t deployed or expelled or murdered all the Jewish scientists who were capable of creating such. And even so, they are pretty close to have it thx to Heisenberg (by all means).

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u/DBoaty May 19 '22

I remember seeing old photos of one of Germany’s “wonder weapons” in later stages of development that was some sort of cannon? It was ridiculously huge and cumbersome with near-zero mobility, took forever to reload, couldn’t aim for shit and never made it to the battlefield. BUT STILL!

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u/satori0320 May 19 '22

Jewish space lasers?

Did that fucking worthless cunt, try to push the Soros/Rothschild "directed energy weapons" narrative?

What's completely batshit to me is that so many people believe that bullshit.

Sweet whistlin jeebuz, that guy has drank far too much of his own koolaide.

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u/Adbramidos May 19 '22

Russia: "pew pew"

Zelensky: "This ain't Star Wars you old ding bats!!!"

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u/drewyourpic May 19 '22

Jewish space lasers again?

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u/BtroldedKallaMik May 19 '22

Heard of them claiming this laser before when I lived in Eastern Europe. Still bullshit.

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u/Quantum_Kittens May 19 '22

One issue with laser weapons is that they stop working if there is smoke or fog. Heavy rain also affects them.

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u/Odd_Tomatillo May 19 '22

He’s not wrong.

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u/mattttttttt97 May 19 '22

Are the Orcs seriously going with lasers now?😐

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u/kiakro May 19 '22

Putin wishes he had a modern "Shagohod"

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u/SilentMaster May 19 '22

Kind of funny, I read an article today that said the Ukrainians did just get some laser weapon and it was able to shoot down mortars which the article also said was a first ever kind of thing.

Shit, or is that the thing that Putin was talking about? That article mentioned it could shoot down drones , but it had a picture. I need to research and make sure I didn't just fall for propaganda.

Edit: Ok, it was a US test system. The mortars were fired as part of the test. This is not being deployed to Ukraine... Yet.

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u/L0rdCrims0n May 19 '22

If we do send some over, the Ukraine sky will look like an EDM show, LOL

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u/shadowjacque May 19 '22

Lasers? Their guys can’t drive tanks or hit anything other than apartment buildings with hypersonic missiles. Big joke.

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u/Rasikko Suomi / Yhdysvallot May 19 '22

Wonder weapons lol. I guess it's good for Russia that Putin thinks highly of his 50's era weaponry.

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u/quiquejp May 19 '22

Next on RT: Evidence of an Ukranian space fortress on the dark side of the moon with UFO's

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u/allwordsaremadeup May 19 '22

Almost none of the wunderwaffen worked out, but V1 and V2 did. They went from inventing modern rocketry to implementing mass production and launching thousands in a few years. Off course it did not win them the war, just caused more suffering, which I think is the bigger lesson here. Wunderwaffen don't help even if you do manage to build them.

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u/Careful-Ad7788 May 19 '22

It’s crazy the amount of parallels exist between this war and the Nazis of WWII:

  • Libenstraum (sp) was German land appropriation concept in Nazi times, which Putini has been doing by annexing Luhansk, Donetsk and Crimea, moved Russian citizens into evicted homes of Ukrainians and issued Russian passports to all peoples in said areas. The very pretext of this invasion was the protection of these people.

  • Symbology. Look at the Russian parade prep with the nazi-esque uniforms with “z” in the middle of armbands, some enclosed in a circle. The resemblance to Nazi symbology is eerily similar.

  • a frustrated Hitler assumed tactical control, often leading to battlefield disaster among German ground elements (recent news indicates Putlet is play-acting the role down to an LTC, brigade commander)

  • As mentioned in this article, the whole obsession with “wonder weapons” to “crush the enemy”

  • the propaganda of victimhood even when acting as a unprovoked belligerent

  • “filtration camps” and the removal of people from their indigenous lands

  • the threat, desire and multi-headed attempts to literally “erase” the very concept of Ukraine off the map, literally stated by Putin and Russian media, is a declaration to commit genocide. They’re literally telling us their intent is to commit atrocities.

  • rewriting history by claiming Ukraine was part of Russia when longer history proves otherwise; Kiev existed prior to Moscow when Russia was simply undesirable swampland

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u/jpenn76 May 19 '22

You never know. Just yesterday I saw first pictures of the wonder tank BMPT in Donetsk region. They must have recovered enough washing machine components to get them running.

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u/Imhidingshh01 May 19 '22

Why am I imagining Dr Evil and sharks with lasers on their heads.

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u/Improvcommodore May 19 '22

And just like WWII, it was America who had the secret amazing weapon to ensure a turning point all along....

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u/boringdude00 May 19 '22

Germany actually had game-changing weapons (both rockets and jets), but by that point lacked the ability to do much of anything with them. Not as powerful as an atomic bomb, but nearly as technologically important.

Russia, on the other hand, almost assuredly has nothing or they'd already be using it.

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u/RowWeekly May 19 '22

The WORST part about this "report" is how Reuters carried it without ever having seen the weapon. Reuters, man, it is compromised. I am guessing there is Russian money tied up in the outlet/paper. Really weird to see a once proud news outlet carry water for a tyrant. I mean, when Russia makes claims of space lasers the follow up should be, "Can I see this thing and can I see it operating otherwise I cannot report this."

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u/tyeunbroken May 19 '22

Reuters reports what's being said, this is important for future warcrime investigation for instance. If they get known for altering statements, they will lose that purpose

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u/RowWeekly May 19 '22

Altering statements? No one thinks journalism is about altering statements. It SHOULD be about thinking and reporting critically instead of being a mouthpiece for a tyrant or a party or corporate interests. Otherwise it isn't journalism at all and it is just...propaganda.

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u/radicalelation May 19 '22

A lot of attempts to discredit and disparage Reuters and AP this go...

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u/Enthusiastically May 19 '22

Once this is over this guy deserves all the honorary degrees in history and politics and military strategy. What a legend.

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u/AllThePugs USA May 19 '22

So much shade thrown in this speech, I fucking love it. 😎😎

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u/ZachMN May 19 '22

“So you waited until 27,000 of your best soldiers were slaughtered and a large percentage of your military vehicles and armaments were destroyed before employing your invincible super weapon? Why?”